warriorchicken:

warriorchicken:

Last summer, we went to London for a vacation and I bought a queen Elizabeth mask. We then went to number 10 downing st and I demanded they let me in.

Oddly enough, he didn’t buy it. 

I even tried to bribe him with a knighthood and one of my many castles.

Forgot my bloody key, and Phillip won’t open the door.

Lazy git.

gayarsonist:

fanfic titles be like “we have not touched the stars (nor are we forgiven)” and then you look at the tags & the first one is “anal fisting”

nakedinasnowsuit:

dirty-pawprints:

mrdistracted:

memewhore:

He tryin’

apex predator

Fun fact! Cats can’t track up-and-down movement as well as they can track side-to-side movements. It’s the pupil shape.

DORK

pewterkat:

bucketfillingtime:

thisurlwasnttakenbutnowitis:

beeseverywhere:

mr-radical:

gaypornsword:

adios-toreadorable:

elmo666:

remember when spongebob used to sometimes have actual people be in the cartoon and it was always extremely bad acting or really weird like why though

DAVID HASSELHOFF

those were the fucking funniest parts

the greats hung about this is all of those people is spongebobs voice actor

“extremely bad or weird” honey you mean peak comedy

doctorspeedweed:

saxifraga-x-urbium:

dorkery:

thefingerfuckingfemalefury:

drydrangea:

association-of-free-people:

cruzan-for-love:

wethepotterheads0214:

trashytoclassy:

bunnywith:

uleanblue:

hermionxjean:

maddeningmagic106:

doctorsiggy:

jitterbugjive:

whoweargoldintheirhair:

mememiya-anthy:

#freshly peeled sheeps

reblogging solely for that deeply unnerving caption

@theosartisticthematics

FRESHLY PEELED SHEEPS

Fuck this. Does everyone just not see the blood scrapes on some of their backs and faces???!!! Anyone, seriously, correct me if I’m wrong because this is making me upset af

Domesticated sheep need to be sheared because they don’t shed their coats on their own and it can be bad for their health if it gets too big.

Also, it looks considering how close they cut that it went fairly well. I see like 2 nicks maybe, but with the photo it’s hard to tell. I mean, unfortunately, you’re going to nick a few animals because they don’t understand the order of “stand still” very well. 

Sheep can die from heat exhaustion if they aren’t sheared. 

Also, their skin secretes lanolin, which quickly soothes and heals any nicks they get during shearing. 

in conclusion, it is good to peel the sheeps

Please peel your sheeps

They. Look. Like. Peeled. Potatoes

Peel your sheep peeps!

Remember when they found Shrek living in that cave and freed him

he’s smiling in that last one

HE HAS BEEN SAVED

HE HAS BEEN *SHAVED

fixed that for you

shorn

Happy Goat is an inspiration

zagreus:

doctress:

zagreus:

if you c*nsor anything in a post you are l*gally required to put all of the omitted v*wels at the end as a footn*te

*eeoo

Okay th*n. *f you’r* sure about th*s. 

Old Macd*nald had a farm.  

*eieio

i’m going to shatter you like glass

snoopingasusualisee:

This ad is holding me hostage

mrpinchy:

mrpinchy:

Friend: why are you crying??

Me: this cat is sO LONG

SHE

cheesyturtle:

I will never get over this joke Futurama was so important

marxferatu:

marxferatu:

summer is actually the most depressing season

clinically known as summertime sadness

zoneofacceptance:

thespectacularspider-girl:

token-evil-teammate:

thespectacularspider-girl:

warmcafes:

https://instagram.com/p/Bd5nawsgbiJ/

It’s okay!  He just got really fluffy

gucci-minh:

cobaltdays:

seraphsfire:

seraphsfire:

a concept: a bus, but horizontal

i have to do all the work around here

I don’t know why but I was picturing this:

He had to fight his way to the top